Hueco Mundo Bar
by MiloMaxwell
Summary: Aizen,Gin,and Tousen build the espada a bar and oh,what's this:Ulquiorra has an announcement that involves Grimmjow!Ulquiorra smiles!*shock*Read the rest to find out what happens next in my one shot.These characters are all chibis but they aren't weak.
1. Chapter 1

**Hueco Mundo Bar**

**O.k. everyone, listen up. This is my first parody/humor story. I hope you like it! Please review and let me know what you think about my story so I can make some adjustments.**

**Warning: These characters are chibis. Unless you are afraid of gay Gins, and Barragans, and other things do not read. Read at your own risk of falling over. Do not drink or eat anything while reading this.**

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Aizen was painting a sign that read 'Hueco Mundo Bar'. Gin was smiling at one of the hollows and Tousen was hanging up little tikis that lit up when you flipped on the light switch.

"Gin, what are you doing? You're supposed to be helping us." Tousen asked/told Gin.

"Oh, I'm just staring at the most beautiful hollow I've ever seen" Gin replied casually. He was staring at a lizard looking hollow, the one Ichigo, Chad, and Uryu were looking at, when they were wondering what the smaller hollows ate.

"Well that's good for you, Gin. I hope you and Mr. Lizard get married, have creepy smiling Lizard babies and raise those lizard babies to what's known today as a crocodile!" Replied Aizen sarcastically.

"Maybe we'll do just that! Now won't we Mr. Lizard! Yeah, yeah, yeahh!" replied Gin, half to himself and half to the lizard hollow.

**Later That Day/Night type thingy**

"UUUHHHH" was all the espada could say when they saw the bar.

"I thought you guys would like it, considering all you guys do is bother me when I don't need you and When I do need you, all of you are either drunk, or hiding from me. The only people who don't do either of those are Ulquiorra and Barragan! I hope you enjoy the bar! As for you, Ulquiorra and Barragan……You get to square dance with each other!"Said Aizen sweetly to the shock stricken espada.

Suddenly, Grimmjow burst out laughing once Aizen was gone. Grimmjow was holding at his sides now laughing like a lunatic. Ulquiorra walked away from his spot in between Tia and Nnoitra. He kicked Grimmjow in the ribs, knowing full well that it would be a while before they healed since he traded instant generation for more strength.

Grimmjow finally calmed down and stood back up with a serious expression on his face."Ya know, I always thought that something like that would happen to me with my luck. TODAY, Grimmjow said in a dramatic voice, MY LUCK HAS TURNED!!"Grimmjow grinned and started laughing and pointing at Ulquiorra and Barragan.

Barragan walked up to Ulquiorra while everyone else walked torwards the bar. Barragan started talking in an old gramp's voice and said, "So beautiful lady, do you want to dance with me?"

Ulquiorra was horror stricken when Grimmjow started chanting something."DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, COME ON EVERYBODY!"Grimmjow chanted/instructed to everyone.

Eventually, everyone started chanting "DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!"Ulquiorra started waving his hands trying to make everyone shut-up.

"I have an announcement everyone!"Everyone stopped chanting and looked at Ulquiorra.

"Grimmjow likes to use his release form, turn into a kitty and go to the World of the Living and play dress up with some girls!"

Everyone stared at Grimmjow who was standing by himself, with a red face.

"Ulquiorra! You trader! You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone!" said Grimmjow who was half-mad and half-embarrassed by what Ulquiorra had said.

Ulquiorra started to snicker to himself as Grimmjow ran away from the irked espada.

"Holy Shit, no way!" Screamed Nnoitra."Ulquiorra just smiled!

Everyone stared in shock and horror just as they had at Grimmjow. Ulquiorra was still smiling when a click and a flash went off. Ulquiorra looked up and saw Halibel snapping photos of Ulquiorra with her i-phone.

"Quick let me see the device you need to put the photos on the internet and YouTube!" exclaimed Szayel.

Ulquiorra started blushing.*SNAP SNAP SNAP* Halibel was taking more pictures of Ulquiorra. Whatever, he didn't need to go through this.

"Hey wait beautiful lady, why don't you come over here and give me a little smooch!" Yelled Barragan after Ulquiorra when he realized that he was leaving.

"Imbeciles!" muttered Ulquiorra under his breath as he walked away.

**AT that current moment in Aizen's room where Gin was trying to kiss the lizard hollow…..**

"I don't blame Ulquiorra for not wanting to dance with Barragan. I wouldn't want to dance with that gay-wad either. It's hard enough even looking at him. His damn face looks like a pig's butt!" Aizen said aloud to himself or whoever was currently listening.

**That night when Ulquiorra was crawling into bed….**

Ulquiorra was crawling in bed that night as he lay still; he remembered what had happened today. Suddenly, Ulquiorra felt something crawl up his leg and he did something he thought he would never do…He screamed. Gin ran into his room and saw the hollow lizard trying to run up Ulquiorra's green boxers.

"There you are!" exclaimed Gin "I've been looking all over for you!" Gin walked out of his room and kissed the hollow lizard.

That night when Ulquiorra was asleep he started dreaming about Gin and the hollow lizard making hollow lizard babies which is known today as Crocodiles.


	2. Chapter 2

All of the espada were hanging around the bar, drinking some sake and beer and wine etc. Suddenly, Aizen told everyone to report to the meeting room over the intercom. All of the espada groaned except for the stupid, stuck-up, Aizen's pet Ulquiorra, in fact he looked quite happy to go visit his lord. Even though Starrk was still asleep, he was still groaning, "No Lilinette, don't take away my blanket……..*snore*……Wow, that is just_ sad_ that he is acting like that.

Once all of the espada were seated in their usual spots with Aizen in his spot: the head seat, along with Tousen and Gin at both of his sides against the back walls. "Okay, I am just going to get straight to the point; all of us are going to start calling everyone nicknames." Aizen said in a cheery voice. All of the espada nodded before their creator and lord.

"We will vote on what we want to call each other." Aizen continued. He then turned his head and said, "Tousen, please pass out the paper and pencils." Aizen turned his head back around and continued again. "Tousen will be passing out pencils and slips of paper out to everyone. You all will write each other's names including your own and next to the name you will write the nickname you want to call everyone. After that I will collect the papers and choose the names by the most popular." After Aizen was finished speaking, he waved his hand and walked out of the room. Everyone started scribbling on their pieces of paper.

This is what Grimmjow wrote:

Grimmjow: Muscular Manly Man King

Starrk: Sleep dude type thing

Barragan: Old wrinkles

Halibel: Dumb blond

Ulquiorra: Emo shit

Nnoitra: spoon

Zommari: Mr. Pumpkin

Szayel: Pretty Butterfly

Aaroneiro: Fish bowl

Yammy: Fatso

Grimmjow started chuckling as he reread what he wrote. Some of the espada looked at him, confused at why he was chuckling.

Instead of Starrk having a list of all the espada and the nicknames, all he had on his paper was drool. He knew Lord Aizen wouldn't be happy with him, but he needed the extra sleep for Lilinette had woken him up multiple times that morning.

Ulquiorra had surprisingly sloppy handwriting for how neat he usually is. Here is what he had:

Ulquiorra: 4

Starrk: 1

Halibel: 3

Barragan: 2

Nnoitra: 5

Grimmjow: 6

Zommari: 7

Szayel: 8

Aaroneiro: 9

Yammy: 10

"Ulquiorra, you are really boring you know that? You should make at least five names funny."

Ulquiorra looked up and then looked around the room. "Did any of you guys hear that?" he asked.

Everyone looked at him in confusion and surprise.

"I bet he was thinking about his emo imaginary friends" whispered Grimmjow to Nnoitra. Nnoitra started snickering at Grimmjow's remark and then caught Ulquiorra giving him what he called his "number one super black emo glare that kills". Nnoitra stopped snickering and continued on writing.

This is what he had:

Nnoitra: Strongest espada

Starrk: sleeper dude

Barragan: Old gramps

Halibel: lady shark

Ulquiorra: Emo dude

Grimmjow: Kitty Kat

Zommari: Mr. Pumpkin dude

Szayel: gay dude

Aaroneiro: fish tank

Yammy: Mr. fatso

Nnoitra had copied off of Grimmjow and then added his own names to Grimmjow's. Zommari had hurried through his paper so he could start meditating again. This is what he had wrote down:

Zommari: bloop

Starrk: bloop

Barragan: bloop

Halibel: bloop

Ulquiorra: bloop

Nnoitra: bloop

Grimmjow: bloop

Szayel: bloop

Aaroneiro: bloop

Yammy: bloop

(A/N: Okay, first of all. I don't feel like going through all of the espada's lists okay? I am sick right now so I'm really tired, don't hurt me.)

Later that evening/day type sort of thing, Aizen was looking through all of the names his mortal slaves- er, I mean espada's nicknames list he liked a few of them. Ulquiorra's was really boring- you know how teachers say that you get an A for effort when you did really bad on a test? Well, he got an F for effort. The same goes for Zommari. Here are the names he picked out for all of the espada:

Starrk: sleeper drooling dude

Barragan: Old dude gramps

Halibel: blondie shark

Ulquiorra: emo chick

Nnoitra: Spoonhead

Grimmjow: Mr. Kitty sniggles

Zommari: Pumpkin dude

Szayel: Pretty Butterfly

Aaroneiro: Fishy tank

Yammy: Mr. fatso

All of these names are pretty popular among the espada. Aizen only made a couple of changes.

The next morning/night I guess is what you could call it, everyone was at their normal seats at the run down shack. What happened to the awesome new bar that Aizen had built for them you ask? Apparently, Tousen had been trying to teach himself how to drive and run over the bar or what's left of it, with a huge semi-truck. On the side it said, 'Las Nachos Inc. We deliver nachos in 30 minutes flat. If you do not receive your order in that amount of time, feel free to kill whoever just delivered your nachos. Thank you"

All of the espada were trying out their new nicknames on each other. After Ulquiorra had been called " emo chick" at least a thousand times (he had been counting), he blew it and started screaming.

" Arrrggghhhh! I can't take it anymore!" Ulquiorra was screaming at the top of his lungs, which wasn't very far. " You _Grimmjow_! You're the one who wrote it down on paper didn't you!!You did! Admit it!"

All of the espada were staring at Ulquiorra now, mainly in surprise. Ulquiorra never had random outburst like that and he never screamed like that either. I fact, he _never _screamed. Just then, over the intercom, Aizen announced, "Ulquiorra Schiffer come here now. I repeat, Ulquiorra Schiffer come here now. Over"

Ulquiorra knew he was in trouble and it was best not to make Lord Aizen any angrier than he was right now so he sonidoed to Lord Aizen's throne room. When Ulquiorra arrived there, he was instructed by Lord Aizen to get into a gigai and go to the World of the Living to get his punishment.

Ulquiorra had arrived in the World of the Living and walked his way to Burger King, while dressed in a chicken suit. Once he arrived, he ran inside and started flapping his "wings" (arms) and started bocking like a chicken would real loudly. He then ran up to the cashier and grabbed the microphone out of his hand and yelled into it. "I AM A FEROCIOUS CHICKEN! FEAR ME!" and with that everyone inside of Burger King started laughing loudly.

Ulquiorra became puzzled at why they were laughing, Lord Aizen had said that they would tremble in fear at his very presence if he had done his punishment correctly. He must of done something wrong so he jumped out of the nearest window and…….instead of breaking through the glass he jumped on it and started smearing down, very slowly, like on old cartoons.

Just then, Gin came in with a crocodile and exclaimed, "I did it! I finally did it!" Gin had the widest smile on his face that he has ever had. Ulquiorra remembered the little hollow lizard type thing crawling up his boxers the other night while he _was_ trying to sleep. Oh, god……

**Did you guys like this one? I didn't like this chapter, I think the first one was better. If any of you have any suggestions or ideas, feel free to tell me. Anyways, I hoped all of you who read this liked this chapter! Please review! I write my stories off of the support I get. Review please!!:D **

***Door gets knocked down out of the blue* "I found you!" shouted Grimmjow**

"**Ahhhhh! What the hell are you guys doing here?!!?! I'm supposed to be torturing you to death!!" I screamed at Grimmjow and all the espada that were behind him. Including Ulquiorra who was **_**still **_**wearing the chicken suit.**

"**Help! Help! Distract them! They will cero me to bits if you don't distract them with a review!! HELP ME!!!!!"**


End file.
